Perspectives from a Liberal Mormon

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

One for me and one for you...

So here is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now, and I just thought I would share it with everyone else. Now I am sure that all of you have been to some form of a professional sporting event, whether it be baseball, basketball, soccer, football, synchronized swimming, etc. Now before each of these sporting contests begins, we are often treated to the singing of the national anthem.

Now as I have been to several sporting contests I have heard many a national anthem. And it seems as if the older I get the more and more disinterested people are becoming with our national anthem. Usually these people can be easily detected because they are the ones who feel it so pertinent to their social lives that they cannot get off their cell phone; or women who are afraid they will mess up their sporty look by taking off their ballcap, and therefore decide the whole "please remove your hat" bit is meant for everyone but them. I think we have all seen, at one point or another, people who fit into this category. Now I have spent many a drive home, from said sporting contests, debating within myself the meaning of such things, and I think I might have a solution. However, before I move to said solution, let it be known that I love our national anthem and do not necessarily subscribe to the thoughts my brain produces. With that said, let us move to a possible solution....

Alright, so my brain determined that the reason that people do not respect the national anthem is two-fold. First, for people who have grown up in the U.S. and have heard the national anthem countless times feel that it is outdated, and just kind of boring. In our day and age of rock and or roll music, the national anthem just doesn't make the cut. Secondly, our nation has seen a rather large contigent of foreigners make their way across our borders and they feel that the national anthem is not for them because it doesn't deal directly with their needs as immigrants to our country. (Before I move on, just let me interject that I think that immigrants in our country play a vital role in our economy and that we should work towards helping them out more than we do).

So after hours of debate, this was the reasoning that my noggin came up with, and so I said to myself, Steve (because that is what I call myself), what is to be done to remedy this problem and get people on their feet and enjoying the national anthem. And then it hit me, what we should do is have two national anthems; one for natural born citizens and one for immigrants. But this creates a new dilemma, what will the songs be so that both groups can enjoy them equally. Because you will have to play them both at any point in which the national anthem is played.

So once again, after hours of debate over song selection, my brain came to a conclusion. For natural born citizens, the new national anthem would be "Born in the U.S.A." by Bruce Springsteen, and for immigrants, it would be "Coming to America" by Neil Diamond. Upon learning of my brain's decision, I thought this might work. I mean, at sporting events just picture thousands of people rocking out to these "anthems". It would be pretty radical, if I do say so myself, which I do. Number one, it gets people pumped up on America, and it also gets them pumped for the game. Pretty rad.

Again, not that I personally subscribe to this philosophy, but it does make you think. And thinking leads to ideas, which lead to change, which leads to tyrannical dictatorships, which leads to death and destruction...on second thought, thinking is completely overrated, so we should just not do it and stick with what we've got now.


At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Hahaha. I love this idea, and supported it fully. Until I got to the end of the post and agreed with you 100%, and decided we should just leave it alone. Kind of like the details about Nolan's sex life.. it's just not a territory we want to walk, or skip through. Although it'd be nice to take a stroll through Nolan's idea of "Pleasure Town" but yeah. With the upcoming release of 'Brokeback Mountain', I'm saving all the sexual ideas, practices, and exercises I can think of, for the moment the flick is out and in my hands. Err.. hand. And I can truly 'enjoy' the cowboy butt sex.. I MEAN, pure talent in acting.

The song choices though, are perfect, and flawless for the idea. You need to start writing more shit like this everyday!

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At 12:47 PM, Blogger Janelle Waters Vigil said...

Dear Liberal Mormon,
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My best,
Janelle Vigil

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Janelle Waters Vigil said...

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